My Proximity: The Spatial Awareness Of The General Public And Turning Africanees

Spatial Awareness Part 1
So I'm sitting on the bus listening to my iPod and on board pops a bunch of school kids. I'm not a fan of people sitting beside me but that's life. I saw in the corner of my eye that this kid was sitting , turned sidewards facing his mates. He was an animated little fucker. His elbow seemed to keep hitting me which I just let go until it really started to get to me. Did he not know , did he not feel his arm hitting off mine and think to himself "I think I keep hitting that guy" ? No.

After a few elbow whacks I lifted by arm up with a lot of force knocking him quite noticeably forward. He took a moment and moved slightly away from me yet seconds later his fucking elbow...hitting..again. I took my earphones out and turned to "WTF" him and just a split second before opening my mouth, noticed a hearing aid. Him and his mates were yapping away with their hands and.. yeah elbows. Bullet dodged. I do find it ironic, though, that I was interrupted by a conversation when I had my iPod on full whack. Him and his mates were banging the seats frantically to get each others attention if they weren't facing them at the time. It was kind of unnerving at first. Not used to it I guess.

Spatial Awareness Part 2

Ass. I was in Xtravision bending over to look at a DVD when A guy (old dude with his wife) walked past me and then back again he stopped and bent over, pressing his ass cheeks against mine. Not "bumped", he left them there. My girlfriend noticed this. I was in shock and quite loudly said "There is an ASS in my ASS" Of course the guy behind me heard, shot up and as was walking off I heard him say sorry. Weird. Did he not FEEL that???


Spatial Awareness Part 3

I am a master of awareness ....most of the time. I have my route planned through a crowd at least 2-3 meters ahead. When I have to leave the DJ box and walk across the dancefloor, I take into account and anticipate the people ahead of me headbanging, hip swinging and arm waving in relation to my route and when I need to slow and turn, slip to the side because I don't want to touch any of the filthy little fuckers.
Anyway, I made a great gauntlet run on the way to the toilet from the Dj box on Thursday and as I got to the top of the dancefloor steps I was thinking about how agile i could be when wanted, SLIP...my feet fly from under me.... on the wet wood.. I was falling hard.. my foot catches a in chair which has bottle on it. Lots of mess. I got to my feet pretty quick , so quick infact, that only one dude saw me. "Are you ok dude?" I told him I have no idea what hes talking about and he says "
Ah, understood" I notice a couple of girls freaking out that their dresses are soaking. I make my way to the toilet.....


Turning Africanees

I hate using the regular toilets but in this case I had to move quick. The fall had shaken my bladder or something. I hate using them for many reasons. Mainly because they they stink and there's an different "Sink Helper"? dude in there every week and I need to keep telling them that I work there and not to bother with the turning on the water for me, giving me towels and all the other bullshit that comes along with a grown man trying to use the sink by himself, and I'm sorry, but bullshit is what it is. I wanna tell him that I'm not tipping staff while I'm in work but it gets harder and more uncomfortable each time. I like the odd occasion there's a guy there I have met before and we have a yap about how busy it is or whatever.

The one hilarious thing is the young metaller dudes trying to bond with these African dudes in the stupidest ways possible. It must piss them off but they get tips so I guess they smile and ignore the idiocy. Any time I walk in there it's usually :

"..ya probably hate all this music do ya man, "
" See ya layer BRO, man"
"that election man, congrats like Its good to see ya know himself...having a chance ya know" ????
".. my auntie actually lived in Kenya for years..did ya know that?"

I'm gonna try sticking with the upstairs staff toilet but I have to walk by the goths on the stairs to get to that and their silence is more creepy and uncomfortable than that toilet bollocks.


Well this post has been longer than Phil Lynotts legs...

Seriously. Torso/leg ratio...??

X Factor is on I'm gonna take a hike.

Ya'll come back now,
ya hear.

Scrabble, Malcolm X Factor

I will do ANYTHING, within the rules, to beat my girlfriend at Scrabble. I dropped an N bomb on the Scrabble board on Friday. I say board, it was on the Nintendo Ds. When we started, I was given ENGIGIR or something. I was really only testing it to see if it was accepted by the Collins list in the game. Boom. Ouch. A short while later, in mid game, I dropped the DS and lost wireless reception. Game ruined. I thought maybe the spirit of Malcolm X had somehow played a part.

I think this was only because I was watching the Malcolm X movie recently, so he was in my head. I was wondering though, why I hadn't seen a shifty white trailer hick polishing a gun for the whole movie. It transpires he was killed by two African American Muslims. Not knowing much of American history sure payed off with a killer twist. Spike Lee is a great director. Biopics were cool before Hollywood wore them down. I wonder who will play Obama. Will smith might be too old by them time they make that movie. Unless he gets shot. Obama, not Will. I really hope that doesn't happen. Will Smith has aged well, you never know.

I downloaded Nina Simone's Greatest Hits yesterday. She's dead, God rest her, she wont get any money anyway. I had completely forgotten she's not a Diva style singer. Some of the stuff is real raw. I also downloaded Warren Zevon songs because he has escaped me like a greasy rabbit until now. I hope he is good. I'll listen tomorrow.

I watch X Factor because I like to see people that I don't like the look of, lose. It might take weeks but I honestly enjoy watching their dreams being pulled from under them. This is the first year I've ever watched it. I wish I had have known how medieval and barbaric it can be. Forget the songs. Look at those cocky deluded freaks cry. That Northern kid is next on my wish list to go. Unless he sings Zombie by the Cranberries, that would rule for all the wrong reasons.

Bits of random:
I often wonder how sore being shot in the arm would be.
When I notice a Security guard following me, I follow them. I really do. I need to sort that out.


I think people who parade animals around like this deserve what they get.



I've been writing horrible rap lyrics in my head all week. Need to get back to my Classical/Electronic project. Writing music on your own is so hard. Structure wise anyway. I might open this project up to others, for its own sake and mine.

Of late Ive been making up words too. Crapstaniel, Cripplewick, Satchelviesel. I need to find a gratifying project. Do I need other people to say "Yo, that's great"? Nnnnyyyeah. Yeah I think I do.
I think everyone needs it from time to time.

My girl gives me lots of inspiration, so I can't complain.
Here's one for herself.




"Such a classic girl,
Gives her man great ideas.
Hears you tell your friends,
Hey man, listen to my great idea!
It's true I am a villain
When you fall ill,
that's probably because

Men never can be.
Not like a girl.
A classic girl...
Such a classic girl..."

That's the last video, I swear.

Tomorrow (kinda today, I guess) I'm going to try to be nice to the rest of the human race. I'll try not to become impatient with slow people in front of me, or fast people behind me, walking up my hole. No eyeballing red face, screaming kids with their Hitleresque snot-moustaches. I might even get into an elevator if there is a buggy in it, but I cant smile warmly and approvingly at the kid. Unless there's something wrong with it.

Wikiween Fridays

"Um Bongo is not marketed in either the Republic of the Congo or the Democratic Republic of The Congo".

Sometimes Wikipedia gets the better of me. In mid song, mid movie or even mid-thought. I seem to need to quench my thirst for knowledge about absolutely unimportant things at the strangest times. I do love the Controversy section on peoples biographies, unless they fail to give me the whole rub of whatever happened.

Halloween......., what an anticlimax, albeit from my wooden Dj box, it seemed to be anyway. People were insanely rude. I was insanely rude to the rude ones, but I'm much better at it than they are. People tell me I'm too good a being an asshole when I want to be, but I'm confident it's only employed when it's needed. Manners. Respect. I just need to learn Tolerance and I have the holy trinity.

The Saturday night after Halloween saw a plethora of Motorhead fans flock into Fibbers from the gig somewhere, nearthere, dontcare. I was only working until 12 o' clock so I decided to play absolutely no Momohead as a treat for them. I played three songs with something in common, back to back. I do this all the time in the hopes that someone will notice and say it. They never do.. say It I mean, maybe they notice but say nothing. I like to think they notice.



Pretty obvious on visual inspection :)

People didn't seem discomforted by my lack of playing obvious metal.
Motorhead are painfully bad. People wanted Judas Priest instead. Fuck them too. "Fuck the record and fuck the people". I quote SNOT because I forgot to play them.

Me and my lady had TGI Fridays tonight. We got our food before the people at the table beside us. They watched every forkful go into my mouth until they got their food. A bit annoying but the service was decent and orders accurate, so it was all good.

Hate of the day:
People grabbing hats off peoples heads.

Love of the day:
Films untainted by Hollywood bollocks.

I'm off to finish a piece of music that has been getting the better of me. I might get to shoot some chumps On Xbox live later too and maybe even catch up on some shows.

Life is good.