So I'm sitting on the bus listening to my iPod and on board pops a bunch of school kids. I'm not a fan of people sitting beside me but that's life. I saw in the corner of my eye that this kid was sitting , turned sidewards facing his mates. He was an animated little fucker. His elbow seemed to keep hitting me which I just let go until it really started to get to me. Did he not know , did he not feel his arm hitting off mine and think to himself "I think I keep hitting that guy" ? No.
After a few elbow whacks I lifted by arm up with a lot of force knocking him quite noticeably forward. He took a moment and moved slightly away from me yet seconds later his fucking elbow...hitting..again. I took my earphones out and turned to "WTF" him and just a split second before opening my mouth, noticed a hearing aid. Him and his mates were yapping away with their hands and.. yeah elbows. Bullet dodged. I do find it ironic, though, that I was interrupted by a conversation when I had my iPod on full whack. Him and his mates were banging the seats frantically to get each others attention if they weren't facing them at the time. It was kind of unnerving at first. Not used to it I guess.
Spatial Awareness Part 2
Ass. I was in Xtravision bending over to look at a DVD when A guy (old dude with his wife) walked past me and then back again he stopped and bent over, pressing his ass cheeks against mine. Not "bumped", he left them there. My girlfriend noticed this. I was in shock and quite loudly said "There is an ASS in my ASS" Of course the guy behind me heard, shot up and as was walking off I heard him say sorry. Weird. Did he not FEEL that???
Spatial Awareness Part 3
I am a master of awareness ....most of the time. I have my route planned through a crowd at least 2-3 meters ahead. When I have to leave the DJ box and walk across the dancefloor, I take into account and anticipate the people ahead of me headbanging, hip swinging and arm waving in relation to my route and when I need to slow and turn, slip to the side because I don't want to touch any of the filthy little fuckers.
Anyway, I made a great gauntlet run on the way to the toilet from the Dj box on Thursday and as I got to the top of the dancefloor steps I was thinking about how agile i could be when wanted, SLIP...my feet fly from under me.... on the wet wood.. I was falling hard.. my foot catches a in chair which has bottle on it. Lots of mess. I got to my feet pretty quick , so quick infact, that only one dude saw me. "Are you ok dude?" I told him I have no idea what hes talking about and he says "
Ah, understood" I notice a couple of girls freaking out that their dresses are soaking. I make my way to the toilet.....
Turning Africanees
I hate using the regular toilets but in this case I had to move quick. The fall had shaken my bladder or something. I hate using them for many reasons. Mainly because they they stink and there's an different "Sink Helper"? dude in there every week and I need to keep telling them that I work there and not to bother with the turning on the water for me, giving me towels and all the other bullshit that comes along with a grown man trying to use the sink by himself, and I'm sorry, but bullshit is what it is. I wanna tell him that I'm not tipping staff while I'm in work but it gets harder and more uncomfortable each time. I like the odd occasion there's a guy there I have met before and we have a yap about how busy it is or whatever.
The one hilarious thing is the young metaller dudes trying to bond with these African dudes in the stupidest ways possible. It must piss them off but they get tips so I guess they smile and ignore the idiocy. Any time I walk in there it's usually :
"..ya probably hate all this music do ya man, "
" See ya layer BRO, man"
"that election man, congrats like Its good to see ya know himself...having a chance ya know" ????
".. my auntie actually lived in Kenya for years..did ya know that?"
I'm gonna try sticking with the upstairs staff toilet but I have to walk by the goths on the stairs to get to that and their silence is more creepy and uncomfortable than that toilet bollocks.
Well this post has been longer than Phil Lynotts legs...
Seriously. Torso/leg ratio...??
X Factor is on I'm gonna take a hike.
Ya'll come back now,
ya hear.
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